17 Year Old INFP on Unrequited Love

From a 17 year old reader:

This article greatly encouraged me when I needed it–I am only seventeen, but I have loved someone for the past five years without him knowing…it tears me apart inside sometimes, and today I was feeling especially discouraged, but this gave me great hope, particularly Emerson’ quote. Thank you guys so much, everything on your website makes me feel like it’s okay to be myself (INFP) when all of my EST-type friends are pressuring me to be more like them. Y’all are totally awesome, you’ve made a huge difference in my life.

Nancy’s Note:  The article he refers to is here:  www.theintrovertzcoach.com/infp_unrequited_love.html and here is Emerson’s quote:

It has seemed to me lately more possible than I knew, to carry a friendship greatly, on one side, without due correspondence on the other. Why should I cumber myself with regrets that the receiver is not capacious? It never troubles the sun that some of his rays fall wide and vain into ungrateful space, and only a small part on the reflecting planet. Let your greatness educate the crude and cold companion. If he is unequal, he will presently pass away; but thou art enlarged by thy own shining, and, no longer a mate for frogs and worms, dost soar and burn with the gods of the empyrean. It is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But the great will see that true love cannot be unrequited. True love transcends the unworthy object, and dwells and broods on the eternal, and when the poor interposed mask crumbles, it is not sad, but feels rid of so much earth, and feels its independency the surer. Yet these things may hardly be said without a sort of treachery to the relation. The essence of friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity and trust. It must not surmise or provide for infirmity. It treats its object as a god, that it may deify both

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~ by nancyfenn on September 3, 2007.

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