Know People who WILL NOT shut up about their holiday plans????

fROM A Reader……..

 How do you cope with the holidays?
I used to suffer in silence, and try to make social visits as short as possible. Slowly, I’ve weaned my friends and family off the notion that I celebrate Christmas anymore. I told everyone that I’ve ‘quit’ the holidays because they are too commercialized and I don’t believe in it, which is actually the truth. I do not decorate any more, or exchange gifts. The fact that Christmas is too commercialized is the perfect excuse for non-participation. I tell them I prefer to celebrate the holidays in a more serene, more socially responsible way. I still send Christmas cards, since some of my family is far away, but I’ve whittled down my list to a select few family and friends. The ones for whom I should buy gifts, I just write in their cards that because our family is so blessed and none of us really needs anything any more, I’ve donated money to worthy charities for Christmas instead of sending unwanted & unneeded presents.
What things do you like about the holidays?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is too dark, too cold, and everyone will just NOT SHUT UP about their holiday preparations. I make excuses for not attending work parties, because I don’t like to go out after dark. They look at me as if I have two heads because of this, but so be it. I’ll remain a social outcast and stay happily and cozily at home in front of the fireplace.
How do you cope with family during the holidays?
The past few years, as I realized the holidays were becoming harder and harder for me to endure, I started writing in my Christmas cards what I was considering. Gving up celebrating Christmas. It took quite awhile to do it, and I realize I’ve crushed some feelings, but it’s the best thing I can do for me. I’ve suffered long enough at the hands of my family. They do not now, and have never tried to, understood me; although they are quick to judge and to criticise. I still feel the guilt of my self-appointed ostracism, but it is crucial for my mental and physical health. Instead of hollow family get-togethers, my husband & I try to go out to the beach on Christmas day, cold or not, and walk on the sand and look out at the waves. We enjoy the quiet solitude together with our dog, and it is something we have come to love. My husband is a classic extrovert, but he loves and supports me and does understand that this is my solution to the torment of the holidays.

Any other comments?
Being raised Catholic, of course I feel guilty for anything I’ve ever done, thought, said, or wanted to say. I was always the ‘good girl’, even though I was thought to be the geeky nerd of the family. I was tormented and taunted for being the smart loner. Even my parents made fun of me at every chance. It took me years to understand why I was so different from everyone else, both in my family and seemingly, the rest of the free world. Everyone else loves to PARTY and HAVE PARTIES, and I’d rather be home alone quietly watching TV or reading. Being an introvert is not a disease, so it is almost unimaginable for others to understand. I now refuse to feel guilty any longer, and just having a NAME for what I feel and why I am this way give me purpose and definition. It really is a shame that extroverts rule the world . . but the ones like us who know better would never bother to speak up. That would make us targets for more socialization, which is a necessary evil in my world.

What would be your ideal celebration for the holidays?
World peace at last . . with me at home, dog on my lap, sipping a cup of tea and reading a wonderful book.


~ by nancyfenn on October 9, 2006.

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