Do People Fall Easily in Love with INFPs?

From Josh:

I stumbled across your site [ ] and like other people posting, I was struck and by the similarity between myself and other INFPs.

I hate pain and evil and sadness and negativity and cruelty and conflict and depression and faithlessness and distance and detachment and the list could go on and on.  I want to rid the world of everything that hurts people and when I see suffering and I can’t do anything about it I get very angry. 

I’m sure it comes from the fact that my grandmother is a Holocaust survivor, coupled with a very needy and demanding mother who never gave me the love I needed but always expected the love to come from me. 

So I’ve come to expect that people are unable to give me what I need, while I give them as much as I can, and the result is people falling deeply in love with me (why wouldn’t you fall in love with someone who devoted themselves to you) while they are not capable of giving me what I need.  I’m optimistic that someone out will be able to do that, but I have yet to find him. 

My most often plea — to myself, in bed, alone, at night — is for someone who will “understand me” and tell me everything will be ok and show me I’m not alone in the world.  It seems like such a small thing to ask in a way — but it’s so hard to find. Anyway I am very grateful for this site, to show me that I’m, well, not insane. 

I think being an INFP is an amazing gift and I’m going to try to embrace it from now on, rather than run from it. ~ josh, age 27


~ by nancyfenn on August 4, 2006.

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